Mindsets in the Workplace


Mindsets in the workplace are the most powerful tool we have when it comes to producing results.  If you’re wondering what a mindset is, it defines how we will approach and respond to a situation or problem.  Mindsets are based in perception.  Unfortunately for us we relate to perception as if it is reality, when in fact it is not. 

A way to illustrate how a mindset works is to picture yourself in a room with another person, each facing a different direction.  When asked what do you see, each of you would describe something different depending on the direction you are facing.  Shifting your mindset is like shifting the direction you are facing. It allows you to see something different, something you wouldn’t have seen looking in the direction you were looking in. 


One of my favorite stories illustrating a mindset is the following:  A shoe factory sends out two marketing scouts to a region of Africa to study the prospects for expanding business.  One sends back a telegram saying—“Situation hopeless stop no one wears shoes.”  The other writes back triumphantly “Glorious business opportunity!!  Stop they have no shoes!”  

In my own life, about 8 years ago, during the recession I was faced with having to start a new career.  A dear friend of mine had just lost his job.  He had many more years of working experience and we were both the same age.  My friend kept saying there were no jobs out there and how hard it would be to find a job in your 50’s.  I said I don’t know how or what I’m going to do and I’m going to do this.  Within 2 years I was earning a 6 figure plus income in a business I created and my friend was still jobless. 

Questions you might ask yourself when challenged by a situation are:  What conclusion am I drawing about this?  Is that a fact?  Conclusions limit what you see.  You will only see what you are looking for.  Shift your focus to the outcome you want to get and you will be surprised at the results that show up.


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What’s In Your Way?

Leadership training

What gets in the way of us fulfilling an what we say we want in our lives and at work? What derails us time and time again? Often times we think the source of all of this is outside ourselves, the unforeseen circumstance  (or expected result) at work.

People not carrying their share, too much to do, not enough resources. There are two things that derail us in living our dreams. The first is not the existing circumstance that sneaked up on us. Rather what derailed us is the drama we added to the circumstance. Most of spend a lot of time on our thought of how something should be rather than looking at how it is (the facts) and where do I go from here. The minute we draw a conclusion about a circumstance is the minute we get derailed from our intended outcome. The amount of time we spend entertaining our conclusion about a situation (conclusions limit us) keeps us in the drama of the situation. I like to use this acronym for drama, Deluding Reality Against Meaningful Action. When we are in drama we are deluding reality and that is always against us taking meaningful action. 

Leadership Development

The second thing that derails us is discomfort. We love to be comfortable. In life our comfort zone is our danger zone. How many times do you not do what you know needs to get done because it would push you out of comfort. You say you want to lose weight, yet you don’t want to exercise, You don’t like your job, but you’re afraid to look for another one because you might not be good enough to do better. Again, the record we play in our heads keeps us from taking action that would allow us to move forward and have what we want. Time to scratch the record and make a new recording. Here is what I know, although we never know how things will turn out, as long as we are taking actions that align with our commitments there is no such thing as failure. New opportunities  will always open up. It is only you who ever stops you. You can never walk to your greatness, you can only walk away from it.

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The Definition of Insanity


Transformational coaching


    The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. In the business and personal coaching  I do with my clients I ask them to take it one step further. Beyond the doing, to examine how you are actually relating to a situation. In other words who are you being in that situation. We all know someone or even have been in the place of wanting to lose weight. The doing required to lose weight is simple, eat less and exercise more.

         Yet most people who go on diets do not lose weight for any length of time. Even people who have had surgery can go back to putting weight on. Why, because who they are being is someone who needs to lose weight or someone who wants to lose weight. If you are being someone who “needs” or “wants” to lose weight your actions will be consistent with needing and wanting it (someone who can’t) not with actually losing weight. In order to lose weight you actually have to be (shift your mindset and think from that you are) someone who is thin now. If you are really holding yourself as a thin person you won’t overindulge. Your lifestyle will become consistent with that of one who is healthy, not one who “needs” to lose weight. If you need to lose weight than you will continue eating in order to remain someone who needs to lose weight.

Transformational coaching method

       We’ve all heard the expression be the change you want to see (please tell me it wasn’t Dr. Phil who said it) well what does all this mean in regards to business, in regards to your life– 1. Take a close look at what you are actually saying it will let you know how you are holding yourself in regards to the challenges in front of you 2. Reframe it so that you are now (this is key) living it. ie I want to be promoted to manager–I am manager now 3. As manager what would your actions be in the situation in front of you In my experience working with businesses when people are promoted they often times still relate to themselves as their past title. It takes looking at yourself from a different perspective  to actually be effective in an area that is new to us or where we weren’t before.

Sounds of Silence



To be a coach one has to be a pretty good listener in order to be effective.  One must be keenly present to what people are saying .  I do trainings in corporations teaching people how to communicate effectively and that includes listening.  I take what I do seriously and consider my listening skills to be right up there.  However, if you were to ask my four sons about whether or not I am a good listener you might hear something like,  she has to be right (absurd of course,  I don’t have to be right, I AM right) or that I’m stubborn (nonsense, I just know more) and on and on.  Okay, I’ll admit there are times when I am not fully listening and I am by no means perfect (just close).  The power of listening, truly listening could end wars.  Most of us go into a conversation listening to someone from some sort of a preexisting agenda, designed to showcase our point of view.  To really hear somebody else we have to be able to put us and our brilliant thoughts aside and actually step over to the other person’s experience, not our opinion of it or our viewpoint of it. 

One fine day several years ago as I was talking to one of my four sons I had an opportunity  to put that into practice.  At the time I was selling my house and as my broker was looking around she told me that my tv’s were outdated and took away from the aesthetic appeal.  Yes, it was true that my tv’s were over 10 years  old and not flatscreens, however it didn’t bother me.  One of my sons had recently bought a new flatscreen and put it in the family room to let me see what my broker was talking about.  I couldn’t believe the difference it made.  When I went into my bedroom (the master bedroom) I was suddenly aware that the tv there looked like it came out of the Flintstones house.  My other son had a 50″ flatscreen in his bedroom that was not only too big for the room but also something he rarely watched.  (Hmmm…my mind thought, of course he will want to lend it to me for my room).  After all it would help sell the house and that is the most important thing.  Never mind that my room was large enough to accommodate it.  It seemed like the perfect solution to make my room look like a luxurious retreat.  He reluctantly agreed till football season started in a couple of months.  Well, the house had not sold by football season and my son wanted his tv back.  I argued that I needed it to sell the house and although he was angry it remained in my room.   The house sold after football season had ended.  A few weeks later my son sat me down in the family and asked to talk to me.  I said of course.  I had no idea what he wanted to talk about.  He started out by telling me how angry he was at me for taking his tv.  Essentially that I had made him give the tv to me against his will.  Instead of jumping into my defense of the need or the thought that he was being selfish, I chose to listen to what he had to say. Suddenly, I was over there in his experience getting how it felt to have your mother demand your tv and despite your feelings or what you said you had no choice.  I could see how powerless that made him feel.  Of course he was angry.  I probably would not have handled as well as he did had it been my mother.  At the time my reasons seemed a priority, but I did not take him or his feelings into consideration at all.  I listened till he said all he had to say and I said I am really sorry.  I get it. When you truly listen to someone else they are not left with it.  It is freeing for both of you.


Listening in any situation makes a difference.  Years ago I was filling in for my husband’s vacationing secretary.  The phone rang and I answered it to find a patient on the other end. (My husband was a physician)  The patient proceeded to tell me a detailed description of all her pains.  My first thought was why is she telling me this she knows I’m not even the regular secretary, never mind the doctor.  I can’t do anything about it.  Then I remembered that all people want is to be gotten.  I listened to her, really listened and after about 10 minutes she said, “You know, I feel better already.”

Listening works, try it and see the difference it can make at work or in any relationship.